Have you ever wanted to find out something about sex or intimacy, but weren’t sure who you could ask?
The Let’s Talk project brings together students from across Warwick to answer students’ questions about sex, relationships and consent. Whether you have a question, or you want to help answer other people’s questions, we want to hear from you!
Questions can be submitted online anonymously, or via the Let’s Talk Facebook page. Then simply check the Facebook page in a few days for the answer to your question.
Here are some previous questions students asked the Let’s Talk project:
You asked: "I only recently discovered I may be bisexual but I haven't had any sexual experiences with women so how do I learn how to have sex with them?"
We answered: "As with most things related to sex and intimacy, the key is to communicate with your partner and ask them what they like. There isn't any one way that everyone likes sex; everyone has different things that turn them on or off. If you don't feel comfortable straight away, Autostraddle has a good resource so you can match what you enjoy and what your partner enjoys.
It’s also worth exploring yourself more if that's not something you have done much previously. Getting to know your own body better will help you feel more comfortable with theirs (regardless of their gender), but especially with people of the same anatomy type you may gain some basic ideas of what to try! "
You asked: "Any tips for feeling nervous with intimacy/sex even with a long-term partner?"
We answered: "Accept that sex is weird and funny and gross for everyone, and that's okay. Have jokes with your partner, talk about your nerves and their nerves before/after/during. Think about what's going on that's making you nervous - is there an expectation for what intimacy/sex should be? Can you redefine what you want from intimacy/sex in your own terms?
It's important to try to identify the root cause of your nerves too. If you've had other sexual partners, have you felt nervous about sex with all of them? If not, can you identify why? It's also important that your partner knows about your nerves so that they can try to accommodate them.
Take it slowly. At first, stick with what you're 100% comfortable with, and then, when you feel more comfortable, gradually move out of your comfort zone. Also recognise that your partner may well feel nervous too - and that's okay! When you have sex, you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position with your partner, so it's understandable if you feel a bit nervous. Communication is key."