Destress < Back to Feel Good main page
Stress is a natural reaction to excessive demands or pressures, which can be positive (medically termed 'eustress') or negative ('distress'). At this time of year, those with exams might feel that there's a huge amount of pressure to do well, or anxious that they can't fit all their revision in. Distress can have negative knock-on physical effects, the more extreme end of which are higher blood pressure and (if long-term) heart disease and ulcers.
Some people are built to cope with stress, and it brings out the best in them. For those that are less fortunate, we've included some simple tips to help you cope, so that stress doesn't get the better of you.
The main essence of keeping stress levels to a minimum during exam/writing time is making a plan, and sticking to it. Your plan should be based on what you need to learn and do, it should be realistc, it should be flexible (in case something goes wrong), should be linked to deadlines, and should balance work with other important commitments (like sleeping or going outside!).
At the end of the day, the old adage rings true: "you can only do your best". For more help, see the mental health charity Mind's e-booklets on "How to cope with the stress of student life" and "How to cope with exam stress".
Top Ten ways to Destress
Stress isn't the hardest thing to keep on top of, as long as you're proactive. For more help, click to listen to the podcast on the right, from TheSite.org.
- 1. Get organised
- Physical clutter reminds us of things that need to be done. Taking five minutes at the end of every day to clean your work space and write a to-do list for the next day will make your morning a lot less stressful, and means you can find what you need straight away.
- 2. Learn to say no
- We've all been influenced by people in our life who tell us we should do this or we ought to do that, and we may end up living a life that others have decided for us. Don’t feel pressured to go out when you’re busy, or commit to things that might disrupt your study plans. You’ll be much happier if you can take control of your time and keep on track with your revision.
- 3. Laugh out loud
- Believe it or not, but laughing really does make you feel better. Laughter activates your body's stress response, then quickly cools it down, leaving you relaxed and full of endorphins (but remember to keeps those laughs to a minimum in the Silent Study Areas of the Library!) — studies show it also relieves stress and improves our immune system.
- 4. Get the right environment
- Make sure your body and mind know the difference between work and play; separate your work and sleep area. This helps combat the insomnia that can affect students when they're stressed about exams. If don't like working in the Library, the Learning Grid, or other set areas, then check out tinyurl.com/quietstudy for the rooms that the Library has made available for quiet study across campus.
- 5. A problem shared is a problem halved
- Don't try to be perfect; no-one is... and definitely don’t be scared to ask for help (from friends or from lecturers/tutors) to clear up any uncertainties. Don't keep your fears, hopes, anxieties and anticipations to yourself. Talk about your work, share your worries and verbalise your frustration with a good friend or family member. Talking things over always helps put issues into perspective, and you won't feel so alone with the problem.
- 6. TAKE A BREAK!
- Everyone's human. Remember to take time for yourself and incorporate 'you' activities into your day. You'll be more successful in actually doing 'you' activities when you give them a time and place on your calendar. For a more in-depth look at breaks, see the 'Breaks and concentration' section on our revision page.
- 7. Breathing
- Another simple one — deep breathing is a great on-the-spot relaxer. Close your eyes and begin with a deep breath, pushing your abdomen out as you fill your lungs with air. Inhale gently through your nose. You can exhale either through your nose or through your mouth. Sit quietly and breathe for ten completed breaths. This is usually enough to get you back on track, but you can sit and breathe for as long as you need to.
- 8. Stretch
- This can be simply moving your head to each side and up and down, slowly. You can then shrug your shoulders up toward your ears and then let them relax. Next, you can move both arms across your chest, crossing over each hand alternately. Then, move your shoulders back toward your spine. If you have been working on a computer for a long time, you should also put your palms together as if in prayer and press gently. This will relieve tension in your wrists.
- 9. Mini Self Massage
- This de-stresser can make you feel great, even though the technique is really quite simple. With the thumb of one hand, massage the palm of the other hand. Make small circles with your thumb, working every area of the palm, and eventually work your way up each finger. Switch and do the other hand.
- 10. Orgasm!
- It may not be mentioned in much of the destress literature, but it should be. Not only does the act leading up to it reduce the brain's activity to do with fear and anxiety, but the release of oxytocin and prolactin after an orgasm are pretty good at making everything alright with the world. You know it makes sense. Get on it!
Spot signs of stress
It's not uncommon for the more confident among us to say "Exams aren't really stressing me out". How sure are you? We've listed some symptoms below. Note: everyone has bad days, but if you've noticed three or more of the symptoms below, and you've experienced them persistently for a few weeks, then you should probably take action about your stress levels. Visit your GP, who should be able to help.
- Difficulty getting to sleep or difficulty waking up in the morning
- Constant fatigue
- Forgetfulness
- Aches and pains for no apparent reason
- Poor appetite
- Social withdrawal
- Loss of interest in activities
- Increased anxiety and irritability
- "Flying off the handle"
- Increased heart rate
- Migraines/headaches
- Blurred vision
- Dizziness
Help your friends
In times of stress, it's a relatively common default reaction to draw inwards and retreat from friends to focus on the topic at hand; an understandable reaction, but an unadvisable one. Stressful periods are exactly when your support network of friends is needed. Another way of looking at it: even if you're coping with the stress, your friends may not be. Below are some tips to help you help them.
Talk to them
It's good to talk; and being able to talk to someone properly about your worries and cconcerns is a really powerful way to tackle stress. You see a friend who's clearly worried about everything which is going on; but how do you open up the difficult conversation?
Lines not to use
Try to avoid lines like "Can you manage all this work?". Although the intention is good, it's expressed in the wrong way. The underlying subtext is: "you're not coping, are you?". The person you talk to will probably get defensive, and it'll be conversation closed.
"You're not feeling overworked, are you?" Again, the sentiment's in the right place, but the question answers itself. Most people in that situation will be forced to reply "No, no", and little conversation can continue from there.
"You look awful at the moment- you must be really tired. Is it all the revision?" In this example, you're making a strong judgement about your mate- and you're only likely to catch them on the defensive.
Better ways forward
Instead, try to use lines like these:
- "I'm finding all this work really difficult. How are you doing with it?"
- "It's really tough balancing a relationship and this revision. How are you doing?"
- "I feel really under pressure cos there's so much work to be doing at the moment. How are you feeling about it?"
All of these examples are useful because they don't make, or imply, judgements about the person you're speaking to. In addition, because you've expressed a little bit of your own worry and vulnerability, it shows that you have empathy and understanding of your friend, and this warmth can encourage them to open up more.
Starting a conversation is often the most difficult bit. Too many people are concerned about saying "the right thing" all the time, but there's never a "right thing" to say in any situation. Just listen to the person — don't give any advice, don't judge them, and avoid giving your own opinion. Just keep them talking, as thinking out loud helps us to reason things out. Use lots of open-ended questions ("How?" "What happened?"), give them a chance to explore their options ("so what else had you thought about doing?") and show them you're genuinely interested in what they're talking about.
Don't let them get into a rut
The phrases are familiar: "Everything's getting on top of me"; "There's not enough time"; "I can't cope". Having these thoughts from time to time is perfectly normal, but if negative thoughts start to catch hold, then they can lead to a downward spiral that's difficult to get out of. Help them with a bit of positive thinking, to turn them back onto the path of happiness and healthiness. According to research from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, negative thinking can actually make you sick. Tests on volunteers showed that those who focused on bad times had weaker immune systems and also displayed increased activity in the part of the brain associated with mental problems such as depression.